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Questioning Eric: My Brother Overstays His Welcome During Visits


In a recent letter to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas, a reader expressed frustration over hosting their infrequent visitors who exhibit poor manners and lack of consideration. The guests, who are family members, often arrive at inconvenient times, make noise late at night and early in the morning, leave linens in disarray, and help themselves to personal products without asking. Despite being provided with comfortable accommodations and meals, the guests never bring a host gift, leading the reader to feel disrespected and taken advantage of.

Thomas advises the reader to address the issues with their guests before the next visit. They suggest letting go of minor inconveniences like bed linens and personal products, but setting clear expectations for future visits. This could include specifying arrival times, requesting a host gift, and communicating boundaries in a polite but firm manner. Ultimately, it is important for the reader to prioritize their own comfort and set boundaries with their guests, while also being willing to compromise on certain issues to maintain family harmony.

Hosting guests, especially family members, can be a delicate balancing act between being welcoming and setting boundaries. By addressing their concerns with open communication and clear expectations, the reader can create a more comfortable and respectful environment for future visits.

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