Feeling neglected and unloved in her 24-year marriage, a woman reached out to columnist R. Eric Thomas for advice. She has been reconnecting with an old friend from school who shows her affection and appreciation, something she lacks in her current relationship. Despite feeling guilty, she wonders if she should continue the routine with her friend.
Thomas suggests having an open conversation with her husband about formally opening their relationship to pursue intimacy with her friend. He acknowledges that this may be a non-traditional solution, but emphasizes the importance of addressing the evolving needs and desires within a marriage. Thomas encourages her to communicate openly with both her husband and her friend about her feelings and desires.
The columnist recommends seeking the guidance of a marriage therapist to navigate these discussions and suggests reading Tristan Taormino’s book on open relationships for guidance. He highlights the importance of establishing healthy communication around love, boundaries, and intimacy to strengthen existing bonds.
Ultimately, Thomas emphasizes that the woman deserves to feel loved and cared for, and encourages her to listen to her own discomfort and address it in a healthy and open manner. While not a conventional solution, opening the relationship may provide a way for everyone involved to be on the same page and meet each other’s needs.
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